Friendship? Hate? Love?
by APHBrussels
Summary: People always struggle with love, but how is it when you are immortal and the relationship you have had before with the one you love isn't that well? England and Russia will try to find that out while they look for the courage to confess Pairings: FrUK and RusAme (Rewritten: Was on old OCx Russia fanfic)


I've been hurt so much in the past that person who I used to be kind of dissapeared. The person my parents my parents saw grow up is unfortunatly not the person that is standing here on this planet today.

They say that changing in life is normal but I am not sure if the changes that I have been through over the course of my life are what you can call normal. Well normal is not a thing that you can pin point to one thing so that allready makes it very hard to say.

Even if we go with what everyone assumes to be correct, the general norm as people have named it. I still don't know if it would fit in there. Since how I have been in the past and now has completly changed it is better to say that I have actually become a new person in a old body.

One that has been walking on this planet for many human lifes and even so long that I have seen the rise and fall of a few empires. Including the one I used to own myself. It hurted to see the things I worked so hard for dissapear into thin air.

Many of my friends or who I used to call friends in the past have left me behind or betrayed me. I trusted them but in the cause of the years they just I don't know how to explain it to be honest.

In the past I have always thought that they have done that on purpose to get me mentally unstable and unable to act rationally so that I was a way more vunerable target like that.

I can't reallly say that I got much shelter from my parents while growning up. But I actually don't blame them since they died when I was around the age of three of four. So I can't really say that weren't around because they didn't love me or something. They were just unable to do so.

Though my oldest brother loves to hint that I had something to do with the death of our parents and he has been doing that ever since even till this day. I have always questioned why he always blamed me, but till this day I have never found an answer.

I am not the only one who didn't have the chance to see my parents. There were also many other nations who have lost their parents at such young age. It isn't an our family exclusive thing.

One thing that most nations do have in common is that we all don't know what has caused our parents to do. Some died long after their country dissapeared and made place of ours and some did way before.

People made up a stereotype kind of thing of when the parents of nations died but that leaves out a few nations. The stereotype is that your parents need to have died before you have reached the age of eight, it have to be your parents that you have from birth and the cause of death has to be unknown.

I will go over a few that have managed to fall out of that kind of stereotype, which I still find horrible that it exist but I can't do much about it I assume.

The first person people bring up to say that it isn't correct is America since he is the only one who actually knows how his parents have come to their end. Though he doesn't want to tell anyone about what has happend.

And in a way I understand that he doesn't want to talk about it. He said that he saw his parents die so that meanst that he has even if it is a small trauma because of what he has seen.

I am happy that even though he has witnessed something like that it didn't frevent him from becoming a strong and happy boy since traumas at that age can have big influences on how that person will be when they grow up.

Russia did know his parents longer than most of the nations but I think what left a trauma in him is that people failed to tell the poor man that his parents had died. They finally told him at their funeral where he could see that in where they would be burried.

No one had felt the need to tell him that they had died, he had to witness it that day himself that that was why he was called for. His sisters were both also very sad about everything that had happened and they didn't know how to tell their brother. They didn't know since he was so close to his parents, how to tell him that they were gone.

To be honest I feel bad for him, I may not like Russia that much but no one deserves going through something like that. Am I mad at his sisters for not telling him? No I am not. They didn't know how to tell their brother news that they weren't even supposed to hear at the age of 6. They didn't know how to process it themself so how should they have been able to tell him that it had happened.

Brussels and her family seemed to completly fall of the boat since they fall out of the stereotype in two ways. The first thing is that even thought they were way older than the others when they lost their parents, it was even long enough to fall out what the stereotype said.

Brussels was around ten when here parents died, Netherlands as about nine and Belgium was about 8. So according to the steorotype they would have lost them many years before that though that wasn't the case.

The second thing is that they had several parents, well I don't know for sure if you can call them parents to be honest. They raised the Belgians yes but there wasn't really a connection between them and none of them has ever reffered to them as their parents, they use the nation name.

Like in the case of Spain you will never hear them refer to his parents as their but more as Spain's parents than they said that it were their own. I guess because they never got that close to the Spaniards parents before they died. The trio actually has had three families that took care after them after their parents died. Yet no one knows what caused it.

They love to blame the oldest, Brussels because she looks different from her siblings and unfortunate for that time was born as a left handed person. They tried to get her to write with right but she remains writing with the left to this day.

I like that she has never left them stop being herself, you know. That you don't have to change because people don't like it. That you can be who you want and feel good about yourself.

I have never lived like that to be honest just because I have always been to scared to get punished by the people that rule and have ruled my country over the course of my life. I can tell you that is a great while now. I was born around the year 500 so you can count for how long I have been to scared to speak up for myself.

The problem is that I wouldn't have mind that I wouldn't have been able to speak up for myself if they didn't do things under my name that I didn't agree on. That is why I have a problem with it.

It is because they did something in my name and said that I agreed with what had happened that day and yet I as a person was extremly against it. I had people mad at me because they wanted me to feel guilty about it, as if I was the person who had wanted it, that it was my order to carry out what they did.

France is still mad at me for what happen more than 500 years ago. Thanks to them saying that it was my idea to burn Jeanne D'Arc back than. Yet I highly disagreed with what they did.

I liked the girl for what she wanted to do for her country no matter what the people might think of her or what they might think because she was a woman with a own will, a will to fight for victory for her country.

I sighed and looked around the meeting table, it was a silent meeting this time but that is because there are some very serious stuff that we wanted to get over today and I am sure that no one wanted to mess with this kind of thing.

Looking around the room I see a few couples, well people who have crushes on each other that go through the same kind of hope distroying past.

America an Russia have been so scared to tell each other that they have feelings for one another since their countries always have been on bad term and I think since what recently happend that they still are.

There are going some rumors around of that they hate each other because their countries still though, but they are rumours. The two of them love each other so much that every nation has noticed.

Yet they can't be together even if they wanted, not only because of the bad relationship between the two countries. It is that Russia's country or at least his boss is anti-gay and well since America and Russia are both male that counts as a homosexual relationship.

America's country is opening up to the idea of gay people but there are still many people agianst the idea of it. That is mostly because a lot of people are very religious over there and some of them don't like the idea of gays. They think they are sinners.

Don't get me wrong I don't have anything against religious people, since I have always been pretty religous myself.

It is just that I don't get why so many people are against it so much. What's so wrong with people loving each other that you have to bash on them.

There are a few other countries that have hated each other in the past but in a weird turn of events starting to love each other. I can't say much about that since I also happen to fall in love with the person I have hated so much in the past.

It has not always been like that though, I have not always hated him while I was growning up. I really didn't, many people and nations find that hard to believe but the people who were there when we hung around when we were very little can prove that we have not hated each other from the start.

We have been friends before we started fighting and even ended up hating each other. Yes, France and I have been friends but that was a long long time ago. So long that most nations who know us don't even know about that small detail between us.

I am still sad that our friendship had to end the way it did to be honest. It's just that I felt so betrayed by what he had done that I didn't see my forgiving him anytime time soon after that happend.

After that our countries ended up in many wars against each other and as you can guess that was like putting gassoline on fire. It makes the flames go higher and makes the fire burn more.

It remained that way untill somewhere in the 19th century when things slowly started to calm down between our countries. To be completly honest, I was getting tired of all that fighting anyway so it came as blessing to me when we decided not to fight each other in wars anymore. Really you don't want to know how happy I was to hear that when France asked me that.

Lucky we were able to keep our promise to each other. We have not had any wars or conflicts that were mean to hurt or damage each others country again. To me it felt good to do this but I have never heard France side of it so I can't say anything about that at all.

There were wars after that yes, I am completly aware that they were since my country has been involved and was even damaged in the process but like I said we didn't fight against anymore. Well not in that way at least, we fight still as in fighting like a old married couple about little thing that happend.

We worked as allies and it actually went pretty well. Yeah sure we have some times that we can't help it and start fighting about the most useless things or the things that America has said during a meeting.

But that is just what is left from when we were constantly trying to kill each other and the time that we could only throw insults. Like humans, we can change our way of thinking about someone and learn to accept them for who they are.

It may take many years for a country to do so since no one ever knows what has been going on between the two of them in the past, how they felt when everything happen or even if they wanted stuff to happen in the first place.

That are things that influence the way people and even nations think. You may forget it sometimes but we nations are humans as well. We have feelings, hopes and dreams as well. We have the basic needs that normal people have. Even though we are immortal, our body needs what normal humans need as well.

Love is one of those things that we nations need as much as everyone else but of course love is not the easiest thing to deal with. No one can explain it, no one can control it. It is something that we can feel and yet we can't fully understand what that feeling really is.

I always hear and read that love is a hard thing and that it can be that you suffer a lot from it. Personally I can say that it is true. Love is a hard thing, when you are immortal it is even harder, since you can't grown attached to many people.

If you do you will end up heartbroken. They grow older while you remain the same years after year. No slight changes even, everything remains the same.

Many nations know how much it hurts when you grow attached to someone who ends up growning old and eventually dies. I am not going to go into detail about this kind of thing, simply because I have had an expearance like that as well and I don't want to end up emotional in the middle of a meeting.

Love for a nation is also something that bosses have been tried to force on us or either forbid us. About forbiding love, it is like what is happening between Russia and America at the moment. They have a forbidden love going on between them and we all hope that it doesn't end like Romeo and Julia.

Forcing people into marriages isn't something new, it has been done for centuries and we nations were also victim of these kind of things. Not many nations ended up married but it is not that they didn't try to do so. Protest against it didn't really help since you as a country were an object to the ones who ruled over the land. You didn't have anything so why would have the right to protest anyway?

None of those marriages holds ground to this day because they have always picked people to marry who couldn't stand their partner or simply didn't like them because of several reasons that would take ages to list. Really some of them still fight to this day to the point that people will look at you in disbelieve when you tell them that they have been married in the past.

Couples between countries is a thing that is, well a topic that is not dicusses by us. It brings back memories of when we didn't have any free will to pick the person we loved. The person that our heart picked and not a king that wanted more land and more money.

The time is now there to tell how we feel to the ones we love. Though the fear remains there in many people.

Are we friends? Do they hate me for what has happened so many years ago? Do they love me or is this just my imagination going to wild? One thing is for sure when you look at us nations.

_We all in one way or another have very weird relationship going on._


End file.
